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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Nation’s Prospective College Applicants Go Straight To Princeton Review’s ‘Best College Radio Station’ Rankings

NATICK, MA—Saying that the ratings were influential in helping them make decisions about where to pursue higher education, prospective college applicants across the country reportedly rushed online this week to consult The Princeton Review’s 2015 “Best College Radio Station” rankings. “This list is a pretty big factor in determining where I want to go—there’s no way I’m sending an application to a school that isn’t in the top 10 campus stations,” said high school senior Kyle Hofstadter, adding that seeing St. Bonaventure University’s 88.3 “The Buzz” jump to number three this year had considerably influenced his decision to apply early. “I’m going to do some research on my own about things like how soon they let you become a DJ and what their indie-to-hip-hop ratio is like, just to make sure I’m not putting too much stock in the rankings. But after reading this, I’m pretty sure I know the schools that are right for me.” Many applicants added that they also intended to consider a safety school such as Denison University, whose 91.1 WDUB “The Doobie” was ranked an unimpressive 17th on the list.

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