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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Nation's Substitute Teachers Would Like To Know Who Threw That

WASHINGTON, DC–Frustrated and "no longer fooling around," the nation's substitute teachers publicly demanded Monday to know the identity of the student who threw that. "We are really starting to get fed up here," said Paula Jenkins, president of the National Association Of Substitute Teachers. "We want to know who threw that right now, and we are not kidding." If the perpetrator is not revealed within the next minute, the substitutes have threatened to leave the nation's regular teachers a scathing report detailing the misbehavior of U.S. students while they were out.

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