adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nation's Women Throwing Themselves At New No. 1 Ranked Golfer Luke Donald

DUBLIN, OH—Luke Donald, the newly-minted world's No. 1 golfer, found himself on the receiving end of non-stop phone calls, aggressive come-ons, and outright groping from hordes of sexually deranged women less than an hour after the world golf rankings were announced Monday. "Everyone knows that the world's top-ranked golfer is one of the most sought-after men on the planet, but I had no idea it would be like this...I've hardly been able to sleep," Donald said at a press conference Thursday which was periodically interrupted by throngs of flushed, panting women breaking through PGA security cordons and once by a female reporter screaming "Take me now!" and removing all her clothing. "I'd heard rumors of what those Bunker Betties will do you you, but… Wow. Just wow. You wouldn't even believe me if I told you." Meanwhile, former No. 1 Lee Westwood declined to comment on the matter and was last seen dejectedly phoning his wife to desperately beg her to let him come home again.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close