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Naughty Butcher Specializes In Penis-Shaped Veal Cutlet

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Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Naughty Butcher Specializes In Penis-Shaped Veal Cutlet

NEW YORK—Although he is adept at fashioning representations of genitalia out of raw meats, ranging from pork belly to giblets, 36-year-old erotic butcher Eric Barnard told reporters Monday that the creation he is most proud of is his penis-shaped veal cutlet. "The Cock Chop is by far our best seller," said Barnard, who uses lamb tendon to achieve the extremely realistic veined effect on his popular phallic novelty steak. "It's perfect for bachelorette barbecues, gay birthday cookouts, or just as a nice gift for someone who loves to grill and has a sense of humor." Barnard, a two-time winner of New York magazine's "Best Kinky Meats" award, is also renowned for his chicken-neck vulvas, which he said are ideal for naughty stews.

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