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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NBA All-Star Skills Competition To Include Mock Press Conference

HOUSTON—Commissioner David Stern announced Monday that, in addition to the Foot Locker three-point shootout and Sprite slam-dunk contest, Saturday's NBA All-Star Skills Competition will include an Ogilvy Public Relations mock press conference event. "Creating a good public image is one of the most underrated and under-utilized skills in the sport today," Stern said after introducing the first NBA skills competition in which a player is not expected to make a point. "After the four other contests, the players will shower up and head to the podium, where they will be judged on style, content, answer efficiency, humor, behavior of their children, and number of clichés they can muster in a five-minute time frame. This is a prime opportunity for our league to showcase the very best players in the post-game." While there is no clear-cut favorite heading into the event, a source close to the NBA's judging panel suggested that the player with the most buttons on his suit jacket will have an excellent chance of winning.

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