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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NBA All-Star Skills Competition To Include Mock Press Conference

HOUSTON—Commissioner David Stern announced Monday that, in addition to the Foot Locker three-point shootout and Sprite slam-dunk contest, Saturday's NBA All-Star Skills Competition will include an Ogilvy Public Relations mock press conference event. "Creating a good public image is one of the most underrated and under-utilized skills in the sport today," Stern said after introducing the first NBA skills competition in which a player is not expected to make a point. "After the four other contests, the players will shower up and head to the podium, where they will be judged on style, content, answer efficiency, humor, behavior of their children, and number of clichés they can muster in a five-minute time frame. This is a prime opportunity for our league to showcase the very best players in the post-game." While there is no clear-cut favorite heading into the event, a source close to the NBA's judging panel suggested that the player with the most buttons on his suit jacket will have an excellent chance of winning.

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