DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
NEW YORK—Basketball analysts nationwide are generally in agreement that, if the pro-basketball playoffs were to start at this time, they would actually be over by a reasonable date for once instead of dragging on through the middle of the summer. "The numbers we're looking at support the idea that just beginning the quarterfinals in early March would have us going about the rest of our lives by mid-May, instead of having to pretend that we're still riveted by the Spurs' consistent winning and the Knicks' reliable losing at that time," said Kenny Smith of TNT's Inside The NBA. "I mean, I love basketball, but really, by the time it's nice outside, the last thing I want to do is hang around the gym and marvel at the Pistons' rebounding stats." Most analysts also commented that, if the NBA finals began today, they would "probably watch" every game.