adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
End Of Section
  • More News

NBA Announces Plans To Play Game In London In Swimming Pool

NEW YORK—As part of a continuing effort to expand the NBA into international markets, Commissioner David Stern announced Wednesday that the New Jersey Nets and Toronto Raptors would play the league’s first regular season game in London in a swimming pool. "There is no question that it's best for the NBA brand and its players to show their talent in Europe by playing meaningful games in Olympic-sized swimming pools," Stern said of the contests scheduled for Mar. 4 and 5, 2011, adding that they would be played in the pool's deep end, which measures 15 feet from the floor to the water's surface. "Basketball is a global game, and it's important for people to see that the NBA is focused on teamwork, talent, and splashing around, whether they're thrilling to the sight of power forward Andrea Bargnani breaststroking hard to the hoop, or marveling as rookie Derrick Favors learns how to flip-turn for the very first time." Stern added that he would more than likely leave his shirt and tie on when he enters the pool to welcome those in attendance.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close