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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NBA Ref Accidentally Calls Offsides

SALT LAKE CITY—With 4.3 seconds left on the clock and the Jazz about to inbound the ball, NBA referee Ed Malloy whistled play dead and accidentally called the visiting Bucks for offsides Monday. "Offsides, number 15, defense," Malloy said to the confused crowd after throwing a yellow flag he mistakenly put in his pocket before the game and fumbling for a nonexistent microphone transmitter. "Five-yard penalty. Remains first down." Despite acknowledging his mistake, Malloy proceeded to unwittingly place the basketball five yards down the court under Utah center Al Jefferson and unintentionally make a sweeping circular movement with his arm as if to reset a play clock.

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