MANSFIELD, OH—Frantically shifting his gaze between the field and play clock as the seconds wound down, local 34-year-old football fan Isaac Collins announced Sunday that the quarterback better hurry the hell up and snap the ball.
NEW YORKNBA officials are remaining quiet on the subject of the 2005-06 season's unusual opening week, in which seven games so far have opened with 0-0 ties. "I think that, despite what anyone may say about disappointing results, these games have proven that basketball can, in fact, be an exciting defense-oriented sport," Commissioner David Stern said during a press conference Thursday morning, after Wednesday's Milwaukee-New Jersey, New York-Boston, and Miami-Memphis contests ended with the score even at zero, exactly as in Tuesday's Milwaukee-Philadelphia and Dallas-Phoenix games. "I've talked to team owners and coaches, and while they're not happy with these final scores, the sudden increase in popularity among soccer-mad European and South American countries has made up for it somewhat." Stern had no comment on Tuesday's Denver-San Antonio game, in which the Nuggets shut out the defending champion Spurs 89-0.