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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NBA To Experiment With 3-Minute Games

NEW YORK—NBA commissioner David Stern held a press conference Monday to announce that the National Basketball Association was phasing out full-length games and would begin experimenting with three-minute contests starting in February.

"Nobody, including the players, cares about those first 45 minutes anyway," said Stern, adding that video analysis of prior NBA games consistently showed that players don't play defense, run, or show any amount of passion until the game's final two minutes. "This gives participants one whole minute to get the feel of the game, which some think is still a waste of time. Hopefully this will all work out so we can get the entire season over with by March." In related news, National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman released a statement Tuesday saying that the NHL is considering switching to a nine-inning, all-baseball format by June.

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