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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NBA's Eastern Conference Sends Four Players To All-Star Game

LAS VEGAS—With the teams comprising the NBA's Eastern Conference a combined 18 games below .500, fans and coaches saw it fit to only send four players from the struggling division to this year's NBA All-Star Game. "To fill out an entire roster would have been impossible," said Eastern Conference head coach Eddie Jordan, who will play Gilbert Arenas, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, and Chauncey Billups for the contest's entire 48 minutes. "I mean, who else is out there? Shaq is old and hurt, Vince Carter can't even get his team to .500, and I don't even know who Chris Bosh is." In order to make things fair, Jordan said, he is hoping that Western Conference coach Mike D'Antoni will fulfill Jordan's request to give him one player from the Western squad, count all Eastern Conference baskets as three points, and for D'Antoni to not play any of his tall players.

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