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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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NBC Confirms 'The Event' To Represent America In New Olympic Event

NEW YORK—NBC Sports confirmed Friday that the one-hour science-fiction drama The Event will represent the United States in an event recently added to the 2012 Summer Olympics. "This new event calls for perfection, precision, grace, and an innate flare for the dramatic, so we here at NBC can't think of a better competitor than The Event, led by team captain Blair Underwood as President Elias Martinez; Jason Ritter as video-game programmer Sean Walker; and Zeljko Ivanek as Blake, the director of national intelligence who has long kept secrets from the president," NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol said during a press conference in which he repeatedly stressed that, with the strengths of both Lost and 24 and none of the weaknesses of V or FlashForward, The Event will shatter every record in the event and have no trouble taking home the gold. "The entire country should do its part and support The Event in 2012. But why wait? Remember The Event airs every Monday at 9 p.m. Eastern, 8 Central. And catch previous episodes of The Event on NBC.com/The-Event." Added Ebersol before leaving the podium, "The Event."

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