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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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NBC On Olympics Coverage: 'Sorry We Didn't Alter The Laws Of Space And Time To Accommodate People's Schedules'

NEW YORK—Responding to widespread criticism of its decision to air coverage of Olympic events on a six-hour time delay, NBC issued an apology Tuesday to American viewers, saying it was really, really sorry for failing to alter the governing laws of space and time to accommodate everyone’s precious schedules. "We at NBC would like to sincerely apologize for not doing something so simple as to modify the physical properties of the known universe so that you could go home and watch the women’s 100-meter backstroke live," chief digital officer Vivian Schiller said in response to widespread criticism on social media, adding that the network would "get one of our theoretical physicists right on that for you." "On second thought, we really should have considered manipulating the invariant properties of the space-time continuum while we were still in the planning stages of our coverage, and, boy, it sure was silly of us not to." Schiller noted that if viewers continue to be dissatisfied with the network’s coverage, they can feel free to switch over to an alternate plane of reality wherein temporal events and the subjective experience of said events may be shifted at will.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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