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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NCAA Abandons BCS, Implements New Argument-Based System For Determining College Football Rankings

INDIANAPOLIS—The NCAA Board of Governors announced Monday that it would be abandoning the complicated BCS formula, with its interdependent network of media and coaches polls and computer rankings, in favor of a more streamlined and manageable system consisting of millions of arguments among fans. "We feel that by monitoring opinions expressed during football-related arguments held in the nation's bars, restaurants, lunchrooms, Internet message boards, and dinner tables, we can amass all the data we need to rank the nation's college football teams throughout the season," NCAA president Myles Brand said in a press release detailing the argument-monitoring system already in place at most Division I colleges. "The best thing about this system is that arguments about the accuracy of the previous week's arguments are automatically factored in to each week's rankings. We feel we've finally found the solution fans have been demanding for years." Detractors of the new system claim it will reward larger schools with more vocal, more strident, and simply louder fans, as a recent test of the system had Texas, Michigan, Ohio State, Tennessee, Florida State, USC, Boston College, and Alabama all tied for first place.

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