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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NCAA Investigators Bust Into John Calipari's Office To Find He's Already Skipped Town

LEXINGTON, KY—As part of an investigation into possible rules violations, NCAA officials visited Kentucky's basketball facility following its championship win this week, but found no trace of notorious head coach John Calipari, whose messy office appeared to have been hastily and recently abandoned. "Slipped through our fingers again," said lead investigator Michael Huber, who found clipboards scattered on the floor and open file cabinet drawers that appeared to have been hurriedly emptied. "By now, this guy's probably a thousand miles away, running his scheme on yet another team. We can vacate what he did here, but we'll probably never catch him in the act." The only person inside the building, a janitor cleaning the halls, told investigators he had never heard of Calipari and seemed to believe the facility was used by the University of Kentucky's art history department.

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