adBlockCheck

Sports

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.
End Of Section
  • More News

NCAA Lacrosse National Championship Goes Off Without A Hitch

BALTIMORE—The NCAA men's Division I collegiate lacrosse championship was successfully contested as expected Monday, crowning the season's winning team as easy as you please. "Both schools got there on time with all their lacrosse equipment, the field was fine, and there were the required number of refs. So we played the game," University of Virginia captain Bray Malphrus said the night after completing the match. "When it was over, the winning team was handed a trophy, pictures were taken, we changed out of our uniforms, and everybody went back to their hotels." Though the NCAA head office and officials directly involved said they were content the game had gone off without a hitch, all admitted it really would not have been a big deal if there had been some problems.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close