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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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NCAA Tournament Expands To However Many Teams Honestly Feel They Should Be In NCAA Tournament

INDIANAPOLIS—The NCAA Board of Directors made the decision Wednesday to expand its men's basketball tournament to however many teams "really and truly believe" they ought to be involved. "Who are we to bar a school from the Big Dance if they just know in their heart of hearts that they deserve a shot?" said NCAA interim president Jim Isch, adding that the maximum number of teams permitted would only be limited by the number of schools that believe in themselves. "Of course, for any team out there that wants to be in the tournament but doesn't quite think it deserves it, I say go ahead and put your name on the list anyway. Seriously, what's one more team?" Immediately following the announcement, all 342 Division I schools signed up for the 2011 tournament except Loyola Marymount.

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