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Need For More Places To Sit Becomes Election's Most Important Issue

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Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.
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Need For More Places To Sit Becomes Election's Most Important Issue

WASHINGTON—According to a revealing new Washington Post–ABC News poll, the need for more places to sit is rapidly eclipsing the economy, health care crisis, and war in Iraq to become the No. 1 issue in the minds of voters. "Standing up and walking hurts my feet real bad," said poll respondent Eva Wolchover, 51, who ranked the sitting issue as this election's most crucial. "Why haven't either of the candidates promised us more chairs and couches? I've been on my feet for 20 minutes and I'm getting sore." In response to the poll, both Barack Obama and John McCain have vowed to alleviate the national seating crisis, and will be participating in a series of town hall sit-downs in nine major cities beginning this week.

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