Neighbors' Wi-Fi Password Must Be Something Good

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Vol 46 Issue 31

NFL Fans Turn Out In Droves To Watch Men Touch Cones

NEW YORK—Fans of professional football turned out more than 100,000 strong last week to watch grown men perform calisthenics, huddle around one another, and even run up to and touch orange cones, spokesmen for the NFL said Wednesday.

Illinois Does A Few Adult Films To Make Ends Meet

SPRINGFIELD, IL—After ending the 2010 fiscal year with a record $4.7 billion in unpaid bills, officials say Illinois has been actively pursuing a number of sexually explicit scenes in direct-to-DVD features until it gets back on its feet.

Albert Haynesworth

The Redskins' defensive lineman has a checkered past and is currently struggling to get into condition. Is he any good?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Neighbors' Wi-Fi Password Must Be Something Good

CHICAGO—After exhausting all the obvious candidates, laptop user Ted Murphy concluded Thursday that the Wi-Fi password of the Ostermann family next door must be something pretty good. "Well, this is a tough little nut to crack," Murphy said following a half hour of failed efforts to access the Internet without moving from his sofa. "It's not 'password,' 'ostermann,' '123456,' or the name of any family member or pet. I'll be damned—they really put some thought into this one." If his next 20 or so attempts fail, Murphy said he would just try joining the network known only as Linksys.

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