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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Netflix Receives 10 Emmy Nominations For Season 4 Of ‘Wings’

LOS ANGELES—In a sign of the growing influence of online streaming services in the television and broadcast industry, the fourth season of Wings, the popular Netflix Instant Watch series about a fictional family-run airport in Nantucket, MA, was nominated for 10 Primetime Emmy Awards on Thursday, sources confirmed. “We are absolutely thrilled that Wings has garnered not one but 10 nominations from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, including twin Outstanding Lead Actor nominations for Tim Daly and Steven Weber for their portrayal of the Hackett brothers,” Netflix CEO Reed Hastings said of today’s groundbreaking announcement, in which Wings also racked up nominations for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series and Best Director for Andy Ackerman for the Season 4 finale, “Date Package Number 7.” “Rebecca Schull as the sweetly manipulative Fay absolutely deserved her Emmy nom. And it will be interesting to see Thomas Haden Church go head-to-head with Emmy veterans like Modern Family’s Ed O’Neill and Jesse Tyler Ferguson for Supporting Actor in a Comedy. It just goes to show that good television is good television, no matter what network it’s on.” At press time, awards forecasters predicted that despite its impressive showing, the series would likely lose the Outstanding Comedy award to either Season 2 or Season 3 of Wings.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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