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Nets Ask Deron Williams To Close Mouth While Dribbling

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Nets Ask Deron Williams To Close Mouth While Dribbling

BROOKLYN, NY—Calling it a “disgusting habit,” teammates and coaches finally asked Nets point guard Deron Williams to stop dribbling the ball with his mouth wide open, team sources confirmed Friday. “It’s bad enough when he does it at home, but when we’re all playing in somebody else’s arena, it embarrasses us in front of the other team,” said Nets forward Gerald Wallace, adding that on several occasions he’s caught Williams drooling all over the ball while leading a fast break. “Not only is it gross, it’s just rude. We’re all trying to play basketball here. We don’t need to see that. Did his mother or high school coaches not teach him anything?” While on the subject, several members of the organization also called attention to how many visiting teams as well as members of the media are beginning to notice that Brook Lopez never showers.

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