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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Network News Satellites Collide Over Iraq

AN NASIRIYAH, IRAQ—In an accident air-and-space-traffic controllers called "inevitable," a CNN satellite collided with an MSNBC satellite over southern Iraq Monday. "Frankly, it's a miracle something like this didn't happen sooner," said Ian Graham of BBC One. "Right now, there are roughly 950 network news satellites crammed into a 125-cubic-mile area of space above Iraq, with more being launched every day." Less than an hour after the crash, an MTV News satellite grazed an Oxygen satellite, temporarily cutting off Oxygen News reporter Lisa Hood's live report on a firefight between U.S. and Iraqi forces near Basra.

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