adBlockCheck

Network Pushes The 'Dumbing It Down' Envelope

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Network Pushes The 'Dumbing It Down' Envelope

LOS ANGELES—Already home to Extreme Makeover, Trista & Ryan's Wedding, and According To Jim, the ABC television network is now looking to develop some really, really, really dumb shows, network sources announced Monday. "With all the competition in television, we have to make the ABC brand stand out," said Susan Lyne, president of ABC Entertainment. "That's why we want a slate of projects that will out-dumb the dumb shows like Whoopi, The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and The Next Joe Millionaire." ABC's pilot orders for Fall 2004 include The Naked Ladies, Extreme Explosions, and America's Shiniest Objects.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close