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Network Pushes The 'Dumbing It Down' Envelope

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Network Pushes The 'Dumbing It Down' Envelope

LOS ANGELES—Already home to Extreme Makeover, Trista & Ryan's Wedding, and According To Jim, the ABC television network is now looking to develop some really, really, really dumb shows, network sources announced Monday. "With all the competition in television, we have to make the ABC brand stand out," said Susan Lyne, president of ABC Entertainment. "That's why we want a slate of projects that will out-dumb the dumb shows like Whoopi, The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and The Next Joe Millionaire." ABC's pilot orders for Fall 2004 include The Naked Ladies, Extreme Explosions, and America's Shiniest Objects.

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