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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Neurologists Implore Professional Athletes To Wait Until They Are Dead To Send In Brains For Research

ST. PAUL—The American Academy of Neurology issued a statement this week urging professional athletes with suspected concussions to wait until they are deceased before sending in their brains for research. "We already have numerous brains to study, so please stop prying open your skulls with chisels and crowbars and scooping your brain matter into a mailing envelopes," said AAN president Bruce Sigsbee MD, adding that neurologists have also received the decapitated heads of 200 professional athletes who could not figure out how to remove their brains from their skulls. "However, if athletes do feel compelled to ship us their brains before their death, we recommend they not bash in their heads with a large rock to retrieve it, as it may damage the neural tissue and prevent proper diagnosis." Sources at the U.S. postal service confirmed that they have already discovered over 200 professional athletes with their heads stuck in mailboxes after attempting to mail themselves.

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