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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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New 49ers GM Asks If Team Can Use Draft Picks For Something Other Than Football Players

SAN FRANCISCO—San Francisco's newly minted general manager, former scout Trent Baalke, asked the NFL head office for clarification on a point of order Monday over whether the team is required to exchange its draft picks for a football player. "Our roster has plenty of guys on it, so I believe the franchise should look to address other needs through the draft, like for instance we don't have a trampoline or a pontoon boat," said Baalke, who said he would consider trading the seventh pick in the first round to any team who could offer him a set of beanbag chairs. "If we have to get an athlete, I'm thinking maybe a power forward. We don't have one of those right now." NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is expected to deny the request, saying the last time he allowed San Francisco to use a draft pick for non-football player purposes they wasted them on Utah's Alex Smith.

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