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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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New Apple Campaign Urges Consumers To Buy iPhone For Other Hand

Year In Review

CUPERTINO, CA—As part of an effort to boost smartphone sales following lower-than-expected third-quarter earnings, Apple announced today a new national advertising campaign urging users to buy a second iPhone for their other hand. "Imagine having Safari, FaceTime, and Siri in both of your hands at the same time," Apple CEO Tim Cook said in a press release for the new campaign, which will debut Friday night during the Olympic opening ceremonies with the slogan "Need an extra hand with that?" "On the one hand—quite literally—you're texting a friend, and on the other, you're hitting up Siri for the nearest pizza joint. With that second phone, iPhone users will truly have the power of the Internet at their fingertips—all 10 of them. This is the wave of the future right here." At press time, Apple reported that iPhone sales for the day had passed the 600,000-order mark.

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