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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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New Atlanta Braves Logo Features Gruesome Depiction Of Trail Of Tears

ATLANTA—Braves general manager Frank Wren announced Wednesday that the team’s new logo would feature a grim depiction of the numerous atrocities suffered by Native Americans on the Trail of Tears. “Since many felt that the screaming brave logo was offensive and insensitive, we decided that the Atlanta Braves’ emblem should encapsulate the brutal forced relocation of Native Americans,” said Wren, adding that the new symbol would feature a bleak illustration of starving members of the Cherokee nation succumbing to exposure and disease. “The young Cherokee girl dying from pneumonia at the center of the logo really captures the cruelty of forcibly removing Native Americans from their homelands to make room for white settlements. However, we feel that all 4,000 of the dead Native Americans in the design were rendered wonderfully.” In related news, the Cleveland Indians announced plans to honor the plight and discrimination of Native Americans by continuing to use the same logo.

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