New Attractive Person Comes To Nation’s Attention

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New Attractive Person Comes To Nation’s Attention

Entertainment insiders say the new attractive person is very attractive and also new.
Entertainment insiders say the new attractive person is very attractive and also new.

LOS ANGELES—With well-groomed hair, symmetrical facial features, and appealing anatomical proportions, a new attractive person captured the nation’s interest this week, joining the ranks of all others who are considered extremely good-looking and deserving of widespread attention.

Reports indicate that the ideal specimen, who was first seen on a reality television program earlier this year, has already been featured in dozens of magazines and newspapers and across multiple social media platforms, where topics such as the attractive person’s visits to restaurants and nightclubs, workout regimen, sense of style, and apparent lack of body fat have been discussed at length.

“I’m very excited to start paying attention to this new attractive person,” said Houston, TX resident Evan McClarain, who recently began following the attractive person on Twitter. “There are certainly a lot of other attractive people out there, but this person is new and has a pleasing physical appearance, and I like thinking about them.”

“I can’t wait to see them in more places,” he added. “On TV, on the internet, in advertisements, and maybe later on in movies, too. ”

According to sources, there has been an increasing amount of buzz around the attractive person, who, because of their similar looks and personality, has been compared to an entirely different attractive person. While some have declared themselves on Team New Attractive Person, many loyalists still consider themselves part of Team Other Attractive Person, who they claim is “much more attractive.”

Nonetheless, Americans across the country confirmed that they enjoyed discussing among friends which attractive person of the opposite gender this new attractive person might look attractive with.

While the attractive person’s future career plans are reportedly not determined at this time, many have expressed interest in learning what they are.

“When describing people in real life who I think are attractive, I may use this attractive person’s name as a comparison,” said Petaluma, CA convenience store clerk Jen Rinaldi, who added that she plans to purchase a product that the new attractive person also owns or endorses. “Until now, I’ve been using another attractive person’s name for this purpose, and while they’re still attractive, generally speaking, I do not perceive them as being ‘new’ and therefore they are not as inherently interesting to me at this particular point in time.”

“Besides, I heard the new attractive person is also a recording an album,” Rinaldi added, referencing an Instagram photo that circulated this week showing the attractive person posing in the studio with a popular musician, also attractive. “I hope it gets released soon. I’m going to buy it and then go see them in concert when they come to my city.”

According to a recent poll conducted by US Weekly, 57 percent of people “love” the new attractive person, while 37 percent said they “hate” the new attractive person. Furthermore, 33 percent agreed the new attractive person had “good teeth,” 48 percent agreed they had “good skin,” and 64 percent agreed they “look good with or without glasses.”

In a side-by-side comparison between the new attractive person and another attractive person, 72 percent said the new attractive person wore their clothes better, while 28 percent said the other attractive person wore their clothes better.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up, but maybe someone will secretly take photos of the attractive person on the beach and post them online,” said Boston, MA consultant Dan Eaglemeyer. “I am often aroused when I see them on TV, but I imagine I will be more aroused when I see them in a bathing suit.”

“To put it bluntly, I could see myself fantasizing about having sex with this person,” Eaglemeyer added.

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