adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Biography Reveals Einstein Devised Theory Of Relativity On Paper Because He Wasn't Smart Enough To Invent Microsoft Word

PRINCETON, NJ—A new biography by science historian Tanya Medel has rocked the physics world with the revelation that theoretical physicist Albert Einstein wasn't smart enough to invent Microsoft Word and use it to devise his theory of relativity. "The name Einstein has become synonymous with intelligence, but as I researched my book, it became clear he was incapable of devising a simple word-processing program with which to type up his findings," Medel said Thursday of the physicist whose work revolutionized science and fundamentally changed the way people think about space and time. "He had to scrawl everything out by hand, like some dumbo. It's a wonder people could even make heads or tails out of it without simple bullet points and auto-numbering." Medel also revealed that the famous photo of Einstein with his tongue sticking out was not a pose made for the sake of humor, but was instead the way he looked all the time because he was just that stupid.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close