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New Book Alleges There Was One Day When A-Rod Didn't Take Steroids

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

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Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
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New Book Alleges There Was One Day When A-Rod Didn't Take Steroids

NEW YORK—Selena Roberts, author of A-Rod: The Many Lives Of Alex Rodriguez, has made a number of fresh allegations against the Yankee slugger in her new biography, most notably that on December 11, 1997, Rodriguez did not put any type of performance-enhancing substance into his body. "Everyone knows that Alex has taken steroids every day of his adult life, and anyone who says otherwise is being irresponsible or just lying to you," said Yankee manager Joe Girardi, who testified to personally watching the third baseman inject himself with an anabolic substance every day for the past year and a half. "I don't care what some journalist says—anyone who knows Alex knows he has put every conceivable steroid and hormone cocktail into his body every single day since he started high school. And probably before then. That's just the kind of guy he is." When asked directly about Roberts' book, A-Rod finished an injection into his buttocks, swallowed a handful of pills, and categorically denied every allegation.

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