NEWS IN BRIEF Vol 53 Issue 33

New Clinton Memoir: ‘We All Made Mistakes But You Made Most Of Them’

NEW YORK—In candid excerpts released Wednesday from her forthcoming memoir What Happened, Hillary Clinton reflects on her unsuccessful 2016 presidential bid, revealing to readers, “We all made mistakes, but you made most of them.” “I’m not suggesting it’s entirely your fault, but, let’s be frank, 99 percent of it is,” read one passage from the chapter entitled “Seriously, What Were You Thinking?” in which the former candidate conceded missteps she had made over the course of her campaign while also clarifying that none of them should have produced the final election outcome, which she characterized as “squarely on you fucking people.” “Indeed, fake news and Russian meddling played a part, and I’ve acknowledged I wasn’t the perfect candidate, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that the majority of the blame—all but the tiniest sliver—lies with you, the idiot voters. You really blew it, dumbasses. Bravo!” Sources later confirmed that Clinton devotes the final chapter of her memoir to how she has moved on from the election, begging her readers to not fuck that up for her too.