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Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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New College Freshman Refers To Dorm By Actual Name

NEWARK, DE—University of Delaware freshman Jared Kramer was overheard referring to dormitory Wolfington-Packard Hall by its full name yesterday, causing confusion among friends and upperclassmen. "It took me about five minutes to realize he was talking about the Wolf Pack," said junior Tracy Lee, who was on her way to Mem Hall to meet up with friends. "I haven't heard it called that since I lived in the Pit." At press time, Kramer was seen clutching his orientation packet and trying to find his way to the Blender for his chemistry lecture.

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