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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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New Congressional Intern Disillusioned With Politics and Democracy In Record 6 Minutes, 41 Seconds

WASHINGTON—Once-idealistic Penn State senior Marc Leitman set a congressional internship record Tuesday when, within seven minutes of his arrival on Capitol Hill, he became hopelessly disillusioned with American politics, having overheard his sponsoring senator offer a government contract to a construction company in exchange for free home renovations. "I didn't even get a chance to introduce myself before he demonstrated how shamelessly the politicians in this town put their own needs above those of their constituents," a crestfallen Leitman said. "This whole damn town stinks to high heaven and I haven't even had my lunch break yet." The previous record for political disenchantment by a congressional intern was set in 2004 by University of Texas student Kerri Donovan, whose breasts were groped by her representative at the 09:54.00 mark.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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