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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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New Congressional Intern Disillusioned With Politics and Democracy In Record 6 Minutes, 41 Seconds

WASHINGTON—Once-idealistic Penn State senior Marc Leitman set a congressional internship record Tuesday when, within seven minutes of his arrival on Capitol Hill, he became hopelessly disillusioned with American politics, having overheard his sponsoring senator offer a government contract to a construction company in exchange for free home renovations. "I didn't even get a chance to introduce myself before he demonstrated how shamelessly the politicians in this town put their own needs above those of their constituents," a crestfallen Leitman said. "This whole damn town stinks to high heaven and I haven't even had my lunch break yet." The previous record for political disenchantment by a congressional intern was set in 2004 by University of Texas student Kerri Donovan, whose breasts were groped by her representative at the 09:54.00 mark.

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