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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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New Dating Site Matches Users With Partners They Deserve

SAN MATEO, CA—Silicon Valley insiders are abuzz over a new dating site, JustMatch.com, which offers users the chance to be paired with the romantic partner they have coming to them. "It takes less than five minutes to fill out our online personality questionnaire and find that special someone you absolutely deserve given the kind of life you've lived," chief creative officer Douglas Spivey said Thursday. "JustMatch.com's unique algorithm sees through the face you show to the world each day, identifies your true self, and matches your profile with that of a partner every bit as awful as you are. For example, we've already helped several attention-starved narcissists meet up with cold-hearted monsters who withhold affection." Spivey added that he himself had successfully used the service to meet and marry the compulsive cheater whom he, as a chronic workaholic, was entitled to.

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