adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Desktop Folder Created For Sad Little Creative Project

CANTON, OH—According to sources, local sales associate Dan Herzfeld, 29, created a new desktop folder on his office laptop this morning for the sad little creative project he’s working on. “I’m going to have a lot of documents for this, so I need to stay organized and have everything in one place,” said Herzfeld of the deeply depressing virtual folder, titled ‘Skyzone Stuff,’ which reportedly includes seven heartbreaking little subfolders including ‘First Drafts,’ ‘Second Drafts,’ ‘Character Bios,’ and ‘Misc.” “It’s just a single hub where I can access everything quickly, that way if I need to look at the revised outline or my one-sheet pitch, I don’t have to search all over my hard drive for the docs.” At press time, the poor son of a bitch was dragging a file titled “Ideas for Scenes” into the folder.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close