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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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New Employee Finally Around Long Enough To Be Deemed Incompetent

ST. LOUIS—More than a month into his employment at Archmont Insurance, colleagues of account manager Martin Wallace told reporters Tuesday they can now definitively state that the 30-year-old’s constant errors and general carelessness on work projects is a product of sheer personal ineptitude and not a lack of experience. “At first I thought he was misfiling claims forms and botching PowerPoint slides because he was still learning the ropes around here, but at this point it seems pretty clear that he’s actually an imbecile who’s simply too dumb to understand what he’s doing at all,” colleague Diane Kendrick said after Wallace’s fifth straight week of incorrectly calculating insurance quotes, screwing up Excel spreadsheets, and showing up to meetings having read the wrong documents. “I suppose there’s a chance he’s just a really slow learner who’s still figuring out our company’s unique procedures and timetables, though that’s hard to believe because he really hasn’t improved at all since day one. The more likely explanation is that Martin’s just a huge idiot.” Kendrick stated that Wallace should not worry about losing his job anytime soon, however, as the company’s management is even less competent and observant than he is.

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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