Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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New Employee Has Never Known Decadent Pleasures Of Old Office

BOSTON—Noting that the recent hire was probably content with the firm’s current bland, cookie-cutter workspace, sources at advertising firm KGC Creative confirmed Wednesday that new employee Kyle Lawrence was never able to partake of the decadent pleasures of the company’s old office three blocks over. “There was so much more space back in the old place, and the cubicles had full 5-foot walls, not these little partitions—it was great,” said longtime employee Sean Lavin, shaking his head as he lamented how his young colleague never had the opportunity to luxuriate in the opulence of a workspace whose many hedonistic splendors included softer recessed lighting, larger windows, and a far better coffee machine. “Back then we were on the top floor, so we had a pretty good view; you could even see the river. Oh, and the kitchen in that place even had a dishwasher. Not like this office we have now, not at all.” Lavin added that the recent hire also missed out on the wondrous, intoxicating joys of working with Bill, a project team leader who management recently let go.

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