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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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New 'Friday Night Lights' Spin-Off To Focus On Underfunded Texas Hockey Team

NEW YORK—NBC officials announced Tuesday that the new Friday Nights Lights spin-off Saturday Morning Ice will follow an underfunded Dillon Panthers hockey team that is ignored by the football-obsessed Texas town as it struggles to practice without a rink. "We have an attractive ensemble cast, plenty of brooding, and some familiar faces—like Lyla Garrity, who has a locker just three down from starting left winger Josh Porter," said NBC co-chairman Ben Silverman. "Eric Taylor's role as Dillon athletic director will be explored in the pilot as he locks eyes with his pest of a hockey coach, who quits after complaining that the only equipment his program has is a deflated ball the girls' soccer team didn't want." Silverman promised numerous uplifting dramatic moments in the series, such as when Eric Taylor personally drives the hockey team to Play It Again Sports to look for usable pucks, and later when Taylor forces the misbehaving football players to build a hockey rink in the school's basement.

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