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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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New Google Streep View To Provide Panoramic Imagery Of Meryl Streep

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Promising to transform the way people experience Meryl Streep, Google announced Monday its new “Streep View” technology, providing zoomable 360-degree panoramas of the Oscar-winning actress. “For the first time, Google users are not merely limited to marking Streep locations on a map, but can also see her from any angle or scale they wish,” Google CEO Larry Page announced at a press event debuting the software platform, which is now live at streep.google.com. “Furthermore, our fleet of Streep View vans is working 24-7 to photograph every square centimeter of her surface and create a truly seamless Meryl-navigation experience.” As part of the company’s ongoing mission to streamline its suite of services, Page added that the module is fully compatible with the latest version of Google Firth.

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