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New Hampshire Returns To Obscurity

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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New Hampshire Returns To Obscurity

CONCORD, NH–After a brief stint in the national spotlight, the Granite State returned to its usual state of obscurity Tuesday following the conclusion of the New Hampshire presidential primaries. "Thank you for being here to document our quadrennial week of national prominence and attention," New Hampshire Gov. Jeanne Shaheen shouted to departing TV and newspaper reporters. "We look forward to your return in January 2004." Shaheen then returned to the governor's mansion to begin work on her keynote address for the Merrimack Maple Festival, scheduled for Nov. 11-14.

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