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Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
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New Hank Aaron Biography Reveals He Hated Hitting Home Runs

NEW YORK—In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the baseball world, Howard Bryant's recently published biography, The Last Hero: The Life Of Henry Aaron, reports that the Hall of Fame slugger actually despised hitting home runs. "They felt disgusting. Revolting. That's why I put off hitting the record-breaking home run for so long," Aaron says in an interview that appears in a chapter titled "Chasing The Bambino." "Lifting up my head to track the ball through the sky gave me terrible migraines, and I actually despised hitting the sweet spot of the bat. You couldn't feel anything. Nothing, except complete and utter emptiness." In the book, Aaron also reveals that he loved to bunt, claiming that he never felt more alive than when he'd tap the ball with his bat and watch it roll several inches and stop.

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MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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