New Hulk Hogan Autobiography 300 Pages About The Psychology Of The Leg Drop

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Vol 46 Issue 02

Roommate's Work Schedule Remains Complete And Total Mystery

BOSTON—"I'm not sure exactly what he does, but I think he said he works at this place where he makes these calls to people for these events," said Kyle Fisher, who added that, from what he can tell, his roommate works anywhere from 10 to 60 hours a week.
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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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New Hulk Hogan Autobiography 300 Pages About The Psychology Of The Leg Drop

NEW YORK—Reviewers of Hulk Hogan's recently released autobiography My Life Outside The Ring were surprised to find that, aside from three chapters containing sketchy details of the wrestler's Florida childhood, the book contained nothing more than a highly detailed psychological analysis of the atomic leg drop, Hogan's signature wrestling move. "While the physical power of the leg drop itself is not inconsiderable, its true impact is to the confidence and self-image of the inner wrestler—an ego-driven class of para-performer/pseudo-athlete whose self-image is a carefully assembled yet delicate mental construct," writes Hogan, the six-time WWF champion and reality-show star. "Moreover, those subjects who undergo repeated application of the leg drop usually develop habits of inadvertent and almost universally negative introspection, i.e., the tendency to question exactly why they entered the ring with the person or persons subjecting them to said leg drop." Sports psychologists are calling My Life Outside The Ring an innovative if somewhat single-minded opus, marred only by Hogan's rather didactic prose style and frequent mentions of his desire to leg drop his ex-wife, Linda.

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