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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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New, Improved Google Maps Lets User Launch Missile At Any Location On Globe

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Tech giant Google announced Wednesday that their newest version of Maps will enable users to fire a missile at any location on the planet. “Simply zoom in on any point on the map, set the crosshairs, and tap the ‘Launch’ button, and a Google satellite will immediately send an ASM cruise missile accurate within 5 feet,” said Maps product manager Jason Murawski, adding that the feature is available on both iPhone iOS and Android operating systems, whereupon the missile’s flight path can also be tracked in real time. “If you need a closer look at a target, just go to Street View, which enables you to go up and down a city block and set multiple airstrike markers. You can even explore the interiors of certain buildings, should you want to attack a specific floor or section of a structure.” At press time, massive explosions had been reported at a neighborhood park in Cleveland, a restaurant in Lawrenceville, NJ, and the Eiffel Tower.

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