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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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New Jackie Robinson Movie Probably Has Scene Where People Yell Things And He’s Upset And Wants To Fight Back But Doesn’t

LOS ANGELES—In anticipation of the release today of 42, the new Jackie Robinson biopic, moviegoers speculated that the film about the first African-American to play major-league baseball in the modern era most likely includes a scene in which a bunch of people yell horrible racist things at him and he’s upset and wants to fight back but he doesn’t. “There’s probably this part where he walks into the stadium for the first time, and everyone’s shouting at him because he’s black and they don’t like that, and he wants to lash out, but then his friend grabs his arm and says, ‘Beat ’em on the field, Jackie,’ and so he just keeps walking,” said local man Clint Harrison, 36, who predicted that the movie might also include a scene in which Robinson wants to give up because everyone’s so mean to him, but then his strong-willed wife consoles him and tells him he needs to keep playing because it’s not just about him anymore. “And at the beginning, all the guys on his team aren’t sure if they like him, but then he plays really, really good and some of them start to like him, and after a while they win a bunch of games, and by the end everybody likes him. Yeah, just like that.” Harrison further conjectured that 42 is probably a bad movie.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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