New Job Posting On Craigslist Clearly For Secretary Of The Interior

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Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Trump Complains Entire Personality Rigged Against Him

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him.

Fact-Checking The Second Presidential Debate

Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump discussed topics including national security, taxes, and their ongoing personal scandals in a contentious town hall presidential debate Sunday. The Onion evaluates the truthfulness of their claims

Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close.
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New Job Posting On Craigslist Clearly For Secretary Of The Interior

WASHINGTON, DC—Despite the lack of denial or confirmation from the White House, a job posting in the "admin/office" section of the Washington Craigslist site strongly suggests the Cabinet–level post of Interior Secretary. "WANTED: TEAM PLAYER WILLING TO GO AGAINST THE TIDE—FAMILIARITY WITH NATIONAL PARKS A PLUS," read the listing. "Position involves interaction with lumber- and oil-company executives, Smokey Bear, President of United States of America, and may involve occasional outdoor work. Lotus Notes and WordPerfect a plus." In 2005, President Bush and Congress were criticized for hiring Jim Nicholson, the Secretary Of Veterans' Affairs, after it was revealed that Nicholson answered a classified advertisement in the back of Soldier Of Fortune magazine.


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