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New Job Posting On Craigslist Clearly For Secretary Of The Interior

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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New Job Posting On Craigslist Clearly For Secretary Of The Interior

WASHINGTON, DC—Despite the lack of denial or confirmation from the White House, a job posting in the "admin/office" section of the Washington Craigslist site strongly suggests the Cabinet–level post of Interior Secretary. "WANTED: TEAM PLAYER WILLING TO GO AGAINST THE TIDE—FAMILIARITY WITH NATIONAL PARKS A PLUS," read the listing. "Position involves interaction with lumber- and oil-company executives, Smokey Bear, President of United States of America, and may involve occasional outdoor work. Lotus Notes and WordPerfect a plus." In 2005, President Bush and Congress were criticized for hiring Jim Nicholson, the Secretary Of Veterans' Affairs, after it was revealed that Nicholson answered a classified advertisement in the back of Soldier Of Fortune magazine.

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