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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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New KFC Employee Takes 'Fry-Q' Test In Employee Manual

MITCHELL, SD–After a three-hour training session at the Berner Road KFC Monday, food-prep trainee Liz Falk took the "Fry-Q" test in the employee handbook. "It's to see how much you know about, like, breading and the different chicken parts and stuff," said Falk, 16, who has a Fry-Q of 127. "I think I messed up the section on potato wedges, but I did okay on the rest." Impressed by Falk's high Fry-Q, KFC manager Dan Nies said he hopes to groom her for a shift-supervisor position.

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