adBlockCheck

New Law Prohibits Kaleidoscoping While Driving

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

New Law Prohibits Kaleidoscoping While Driving

TRENTON, NJ— Citing the nearly 1,500 deaths that occurred in the United States last year as a result of kaleidoscoping while driving, New Jersey governor Chris Christie signed legislation Friday banning the practice. "If you need to see complex geometric patterns made by colorful beads and glass shifting in front of your eyes while you rotate a cylinder, pull over to the side of the road first or, better yet, wait until you reach your destination," Christie said after signing the bill known as Lisa's Law, named for a teen killed when a kaleidoscoping driver crossed the center line and struck her car in 2009. "Studies have shown that kaleidoscoping while operating a motor vehicle is the equivalent of driving under the influence of four alcoholic beverages and two tabs of LSD. It simply isn't safe." Lobbyists for the kaleidoscope industry maintain their product is totally safe for drivers if they use the hands-free option.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close