New Leather-Bound Notebook To Really Unleash Area Woman's Creativity

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Vol 50 Issue 03

Jay Z Honored To Be Nominated In Same Category As Jay Z

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he was thrilled to be considered alongside such a talented and respected musician, hip-hop artist and 2014 Best Rap Album Grammy nominee Jay Z told reporters today that he feels “deeply honored” to be nominated in...

Lunchbox Mostly Medication

Inclement weather prevents a liar from getting to work, thousands of athletes who will disgrace their country eagerly train for the Winter Olympics, and a lunchbox is mostly medication.

Mascot Absolutely Reeks

SYRACUSE, NY—Saying that they probably never clean the thing, sources confirmed Friday that Syracuse University’s mascot Otto the Orange absolutely reeked as he wove his way in and out of stands.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

New Leather-Bound Notebook To Really Unleash Area Woman's Creativity

ALAMO, CA—The purchase of a new leather-bound notebook is really going to help area woman Katherine Seigel realize her creative ambitions, the 34-year-old confirmed to reporters this week. “Maybe I will use it to write short stories in, or poems, or just whatever creative thoughts come into my brain,” said Seigel of the black rounded-corner notebook, which she purchased for $19.50 at a local bookstore. “I can carry it everywhere in my purse and then whenever I have an idea I’ll just take out my notebook and start writing in it. It’s going to be great!” At press time, the notebook was sitting in a desk drawer in Seigel’s apartment.

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