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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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New Legislation Would Shut Down U.S. Education System, Give Each American Student $3,000 To Start Own Small Business

WASHINGTON—In what is being hailed as a simple and elegant solution to the nation's current employment and education crises, a bill introduced in Congress Monday would shutter U.S. schools and give each student $3,000 to start a small business. "Where our teachers have failed, we believe our markets can succeed," said bill co-sponsor Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN), who told reporters the one-time expenditure on every American between the ages of 5 and 18 would force children to quickly develop the skills they need to survive in the free-enterprise system. "If a child has an idea for, say, a drywall-importing business or a firm that provides global outsourcing services, this plan lets that kid get started right away rather than bogging him down with years and years of expensive schooling." Supporters of the measure said it also incentivizes job creation by allowing former students to take out subsidized loans if they hire two or more out-of-work adults.

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