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New Legislation Would Shut Down U.S. Education System, Give Each American Student $3,000 To Start Own Small Business

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

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CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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New Legislation Would Shut Down U.S. Education System, Give Each American Student $3,000 To Start Own Small Business

WASHINGTON—In what is being hailed as a simple and elegant solution to the nation's current employment and education crises, a bill introduced in Congress Monday would shutter U.S. schools and give each student $3,000 to start a small business. "Where our teachers have failed, we believe our markets can succeed," said bill co-sponsor Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN), who told reporters the one-time expenditure on every American between the ages of 5 and 18 would force children to quickly develop the skills they need to survive in the free-enterprise system. "If a child has an idea for, say, a drywall-importing business or a firm that provides global outsourcing services, this plan lets that kid get started right away rather than bogging him down with years and years of expensive schooling." Supporters of the measure said it also incentivizes job creation by allowing former students to take out subsidized loans if they hire two or more out-of-work adults.

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