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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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New Madonna Album Hailed As Available For Purchase

LONDON—Pop superstar Madonna has once again wowed music critics and consumers alike with her latest offering, Hard Candy, an album that has garnered unanimous praise for the ease with which it can be exchanged for money. "Fans will find this record just as for sale as anything else in Madonna's wonderfully obtainable oeuvre," said NME staff writer Henry Carter, who also lauded individual tracks on Hard Candy as being available for 99 cents each on iTunes. "There's something here that anyone can pay for, whether they are longtime buyers of Madonna's albums or new to spending money on her music." Although Hard Candy has only been available for three weeks, its format of a two-channel 16-bit PCM encoding at a 44.1 kHz sampling rate per channel has already drawn comparisons to such classic CDs as the Beatles' Abbey Road and the Spin Doctors' Turn It Upside Down.

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